Easter wonderings...

So Jesus was in the tomb for three days. I wonder if there were any spiders, bugs or rats in there with Him? If there were, I wonder what they saw that third day? Christmas has some pretty big moments, like angels popping out of the sky and singing big time. Magi come from somewhere far with mega gifts; there is a big bright star that shines. It's quite the celebration. Obviously, we are not privileged to know about any angelic celebrations, but it's hard to imagine they just ignore the Easter event.

Easter changed everything, right? I wonder if galaxies shifted or tilted in some sort of celebration along with exploding super novas and black holes doing whatever a black hole does, only special? I wonder if whales sensed something that day and if dolphins were extra playful? I wonder if somewhere on earth a lion laid along side of a lamb unbeknown to any of us, or eagles sored higher than they ever had, or will again? I gotta believe that God displayed His pleasure of this Resurrection triumph in some form which includes His unknowable depths of creativity.

Easter is a big deal and I never feel like I celebrate it in a way that displays the depths of what I can comprehend about it. I just cannot give it its just acknowledgement of beauty and grace and awe and irony.

Let's say there were all kinds of cosmic celebrations beyond what any of us can imagine. The whole unseen world is exploding with a God size, super sized, party...it just seems like it will never end. It strikes me funny that when Jesus steps out into the world again after rising from the dead that in his first encounter with us, he is mistaken for the Gardner. That cracks me up! He steps onto green turf after beating death and he gets "Hey look, it's the Gardner." I suppose it's just my goofy sense of humor...

...or is it a throw back implication to Eden?

hmmm....... I wonder...

Shalom!

Am I weird, crazy or both? ..don't answer!

So I am driving away from Starbucks headed to another Starbucks to just hang out some more. I am attempting to follow Jesus in my life, but I try to keep this fact under cover because I do such a poor job at it that I do not want to tarnish Christianity even more than it already is...if that's possible. I am doing my very best to not go to church as well. I have some big beefs with church, but perhaps my explanations should wait for another time, if at all.

Okay, back to driving today. There is this church that God keeps popping into my brain to go to. (For any reader not of the Christian faith, this is where you appropriately label me as crazy, weird, with magical thinking tendencies). When God does this to me, I just give into it any more. I never win. I knew this church was having some sort of laid back communion gathering, so I point my Toyota in that direction, and ask myself "what am I doing" the whole way there. I know why I am going. When "I Am" sits on your shoulder and tells you to go, are there any options? I have yet to find 'em.

I get to the church and the lights are very dim with candles and I see the communion stuff. Only now they are watching a movie...argh. It's Mel Gibson's The Passion. There was such a ruckus about this movie when it came out that I never went to it because I got so tired of hearing about it. I still missed some of the beginning; how much I dunno...Jesus was in the garden praying.

The blood and gore stuff did not impact me much because I have always felt my imagination was worse than any movie could depict. What I found surprisingly moving was the way the movie portrayed the relationships in Jesus' life. That was a wonderful surprise for me.

I have always felt that as much as I would have liked to have been one of the "good guys" had I lived back in those times of Jesus' crucifixion, I know I would have been one of those in the crowd shouting for his death, or even one of the scribes if I would have been "lucky" enough to have been successful back then. That's sobering.

When I daydream about what it would have been like to have been living back when Jesus lived, I always dream about stalking Jesus. Yep, stalking. I like thinking about hiding behind trees and walls and just watching Him from afar. I am too scared to hear what he would say to me...yeah, I am weird and crazy. I have always heard what other people would say or ask Jesus if they lived back then. Not me! Although, there is one thing that would have been wonderful to have experienced had I lived back then.

I have always wanted to stand beside Jesus and have Him put His hand on my shoulder. Of course He would have to sneak up on me to do it. I would not want Him to say anything, just touch my shoulder or grab my forearm. That would be all I would want. I imagine that this touch would be healing and that all of my past would be healed without anything said. It's a wonderful daydream that I will take to my grave, and if you are as weird and crazy as I am to have this faith, I have this other daydream that when I actually do get to hang out with Him for the first time, He won't say anything to me then.

...so it strikes me that I don't mind having the "I Am" sitting on my shoulder telling me to go to church as much as I like to complain about it. I'll take His touch whenever I can get it. Happy Easter...He has Risen!

Shalom!